The staff at the Bridge of Hope CAC is here to assist and support victims of child abuse.  Once a child has been to our center, our Advocate is an available resource to the non-offending caregiver/parent.  The Advocate is here to help answer your questions and if they don’t know the answer to track down the information for you.  Our Advocate is available to listen to you, offer suggestions, and provide information and referrals about community resources and counseling. 

To speak to an Advocate, contact the Bridge of Hope at 308-534-4064.

I believe my child has been abused, what do I do now?

Report your concerns to the Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-652-1999 or contact local law enforcement.  Promises by the offender that it won’t happen again will not keep a child safe.  To ensure a proper response to your concerns, we ask that you do not contact the Bridge of Hope with your report, but rather report to the proper authorities immediately.  If the investigating agency determines your child should be taken to the Bridge of Hope CAC, they will set up an appointment with our staff for you.

My child has an interview scheduled at the Bridge of Hope, now what?

Here are some important tips for parents before the interview is conducted.

• It is important to discuss with the professionals ahead of time any special needs your child might have during the interview.

• It is also helpful if the interviewer is aware of any special words or terms your family might use, especially for body parts.

• Be sure to share any of concerns you might have with the advocate.  The advocate can help you better understand the process and reduce your worries.

• As a parent, you should tell your child that you are coming to the Bridge of Hope to talk to a person who can help with what has happened to them.

• Do not tell your child that they are coming to the Bridge of Hope to play or to meet a special friend.  Be truthful, but be brief.  Do not suggest to your child what they are to say.  Do not try to coach or rehearse your child ahead of time.

• Give your child permission to tell the truth about whatever they might be asked.

• Do not offer your child bribes or rewards for telling, such as “If you do a good job, we can go to McDonald’s afterwards for a Happy Meal.”

• The professional conducting the interview will plan on spending as much time as needed with your child before the interview to help them feel safe and comfortable.  We realize this is a person your child doesn’t know and that we need to take our time.

After the interview:

Some things you can SAY to help your child.

•   I believe you.

•   I know it’s not your fault.

•   I’m glad I know about it.

•   I’m sorry this happened to you.

•   I will take care of you – you don’t need to take care of me.

•   I’m not sure what will happen next.   

•   I am upset, but not with you.

•   I’m angry at the person who did this.

•   I’m sad.  You may see me cry.  That’s all right.  I’m not mad at you.

•   I don’t know why he did it.  He has a problem.

•  We need to get help, so this doesn’t happen again.

Some things you can DO to help your child.

•  Never blame your child for what happened to him/her.

• Keep your child away from the person suspected of the abuse.

• Ensure that the offender does not telephone the home where the child resides at any time when the child victim might answer the phone.

• Avoid all contact with the alleged perpetrator while the investigation is ongoing.

• Remember to communicate support for your child for having told about the abuse.  Use statements like, “You were very brave to tell about what happened.  I’m proud of you.”

• Communicate your support to your child often, even if you are struggling with your own doubts.

• Take care not to agonize over living arrangements or money problems when around your child.  Your feelings of fear, panic or worry often cause additional stress on your child.  They may feel like they need to take care of you.

• Be careful not to question your child about the abuse.  Repeated questioning by untrained professionals will only serve to compromise the investigation.  If your child chooses to talk about what happened, listen supportively, but do not probe or ask any questions that may be considered leading or suggestive.  This is very important.

• Don’t discuss the case, the offender’s bond or jail arrangement within hearing distance of your child.

• Don’t communicate anger toward your child as you arrange for the various appointments such as the interview, medical exam and therapy sessions.  Your child may believe you are “put out” with having to do this and may feel like a burden.

• Discuss with your child and other professionals what to tell relatives, teachers or friends about the abuse.  Every detail does not need to be shared.

• Never coach or advise your child on how to act or what to say to the professionals on the team.  This may be seen as interfering in the case or not being cooperative with the system.

• Never use threats or intimidation to help make sure that the child is telling the truth.

• Don’t pretend, in an effort to return your child to normal life, that nothing has happened to your child.  This can communicate the wrong message.

• See that your child receives counseling as soon as possible.  Trying to sweep the problem under the rug usually causes more problems because it doesn’t just go away.

• Find help for yourself.  You don’t have to do it all yourself.  Contact the advocate at the Bridge of Hope for assistance.

• Do not leave your child with a relative or friend who either doesn’t know or doesn’t believe the report of abuse, especially in a place where the offender might stop by and visit or call.

• If the offender breaks any supervision or protection rules, notify the investigating officer and caseworker as soon as possible.  If you fail to do this you may be encouraging the court to see you as an unprotective parent and you may run the risk of losing custody of your child.  This is especially true if you allow contact between the offender and child.

• Your child may need an extra sense of physical security.  Stay close, and assure your child you will keep him/her safe.

• Remember to give attention to your other children.

• Under react to any disclosure.  Feelings of guilt, denial and confusion are normal reactions to have.  However, if you have a strong reaction to your child’s disclosure several things will happen.  First, your child may feel more guilty about what happened because now it has caused you pain.  It will also inhibit your child from talking about this further with you, the police, or a therapist because the child will anticipate that everyone will have the same reaction.  Your response to the disclosure is crucial to the child’s ability to resolve the trauma of sexual abuse.